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70Aliens and the Anal Probe
Just prior to a Florida thunderstorm snatched my power from me last night, I found myself engrossed in a documentary about aliens. Now that the screen was black as well as the entire room, I was left...
0 comments58Hot Enough For Ya?
It’s officially summer in South Florida. I know this not by the date of the calendar, not by the position of the stars and moon, I know it because the street signs are melting. If you’ve ever spent a...
0 comments58Name a star after me
Back in February, while contemplating gifts for Valentine’s Day I overheard an advertisement on the radio. This was an advertisement for the now famous “Star Registry”. This is where you can actually name a star after yourself or someone...
4 comments53Famous Folks
I wanna be a celebrity. I wanna be famous. I want people to look up to me. Now how do I go about making that happen? I thought long and hard about what I need to do in order to have my face displayed on the...
0 comments57The eye doctor
Wow....it's been a while since I've written a blog. I apologize to those who used to eagerly anticipate my random ramblings. A recent trip to the eye doctor is always a good cure for "writer's block" I always...
0 comments64Why I hate clowns
For those who know me, it's no secret that I have my fair share of quirks, phobias, and fears. None more disturbing than my hatred for clowns. That's right. I said clowns. Thankfully, I'm not alone in...
4 comments74Long Winded Talkers
This is a call for help. Does anyone out there, anywhere, know the proper procedure for slipping away from people who simply don't know when to shut up? You've all been in this situation before. A casual...
3 comments67Rat Trap Instructions
Being an exterminator, I found that there are several different methods of catching a rodent. The two preferred methods are sticky glue boards, and the ancient but effective snap traps. I prefer the glue boards for reasons that I will explain...
3 comments55The watch
I bought a watch the other day. I didn't need anything fancy. Just a watch I can wear for work. It had to be reliable, inexpensive and able to withstand large doses of accidentally spilled pesticide due to...
0 comments52Do I have to grow up?
I've come to a simple realization today. I say simple, because basically everything I do is simple. Complicated things are just too....well..complicated for me. The realization is this: Due to some genetic default, or possibly an abnormality in my...
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